Tired

It is no surprise that everyone in this world feels tired more often than energized each day. They wake up tired, they go to work tired, they do social activities tired and of course they go to sleep tired. Several people might not understand this sense of tiredness all the time and suggest drinking some coffee! Drink water when you’re dehydrated, sleep earlier to get more hours of sleep, working out can boost your energy. Trust me I have tried it and the feeling of being drained in everything rarely changes.

I will admit that when I was consistently working out and getting a burn, I did feel physically energized. I was drinking the recommended amount of water every day and even eating healthier! However, mentally I was still drained.

How can you work out your mind to make it not feel tired?

There are some weeks that I am more tired than normal, some days I feel like I can take on the world. While other days I want to bury myself under my blankets and never move for the rest of my life.

Feeling constantly drained is the worst; especially if you have the need to be productive but no motivation for it at all. You’re self-aware of what you can do and what you should do. But I have no energy to do anything other than what’s expected, like going to work or eating.

I recently started to pick up reading again. The last time I read a book out of pure enjoyment was when I was in high school and that was…many years ago. I want to make a change; I want to reprogram my mind to have the energy to do the things I used to love. Starting this blog was one of the ways I was able to get it going. Give my mind something to think about to be productive and consistent with. Even if I post once a week it is more than what I would have done if I never even started this blog. Plus, I get whatever I am feeling off my chest and post it on the internet. That’s good right? Sharing with the internet about my feelings and thoughts, it won’t come back to haunt me. Right?

Either way, getting my mind to reconnect with the hobbies I used to love and enjoyed doing for me and not for anyone else. Reading because I fell in love with the story and connected with the characters. The feeling of not being able to put the book down; and saying “Just one more chapter” five chapters ago. I want the drive to write about anything and anybody. Whether it’s about me or a fictional character I created. The joy of creating a story from scratch because I want to and not because it’s an assignment.

I want to feel the joy and not the tiredness of doing the hobbies I used to love.

The first step that I took was like mentioned before was starting this blog. Holding myself accountable for posting here. Even if it means once a week or more if I am up for it. The postings are mainly for me anyways. I do hope that one day my posting will be able to help anyone that may be feeling like I am. I will say that I know you and I will get through it, heck most of the time we always do but it just sucks to be in this cloud space. To quote Annie, “the sun will come out tomorrow”.

The second step I took was some light reading. I am currently reading “Where the crawdads sing” by Delia Owens. I told myself I was not able to watch the film until I read the book. To which I have been and at first it was a little slow, but I kept on with it. Not until this week, the week the film came out, is when I am grinding to finish it because it is so captivating. I must finish it because I need to know what happens to Kya, the main character. I did prematurely order more books in hopes that I keep the drive of reading with a new book.

Another step I took, which falls under the second one of reading. Is that I logged back into my Audible app and checked the books that I had “read” and those that I have not yet. I know at one point I had forgotten to cancel my membership and was charged and received a few credits that I purchased books with. Some I did listen to right away while others not so much. Logging back in gave me another opportunity to escape in a book by listening. Also, listening to a book is the same as reading it, I hate the stigma that audible books are not the same as reading. You still get what the author has written and know the story, it’s just nice to have someone else read it to you occasionally.

The last step that I have not yet started but hopefully will do is getting back to a healthy lifestyle. Meaning working out and eating healthy. Not completely dieting and getting rid of all the junk food, but just be mindful of what I am eating. I know in the past that if I cut everything “bad” for me I eventually cave and binge on all the shitty food I can get my hands on. Same with working out not being consumed with the fact that I didn’t work out long enough or if I skipped a day and put myself down because of that. In the past I was a stickler for making sure I worked out for a certain amount of time and if I did not that means I basically didn’t do anything at all. Putting myself down and discouraging myself to even want to work out because I wasn’t doing enough. Something is always better than nothing.

Eventually I hope at the end of this month I can report, to those who are reading, that I am making a change. I hope that my mind gets reprogrammed, even just a little. Hopefully I can say I am not tired anymore because I am truly tired of being tired.